Oh Look, Another Mental Battle...Typical

The one thing that I LOVE about having a blog is that I can call myself out whenever I feel like I need to. Which, unfortunately, is more often than not. But...I always said from day 1 that I would be real throughout my whole journey and blog about the positive and negative aspects of a weightloss journey.  Well...today my friends, I am going to bring you a little negativity wrapped up in a positive outcome.  Haha...does that even make sense?  Anyways...here we go.

So as almost everyone knows, I have been struggling the last few weeks with my motivation to get to the gym.  I haven't been going 4-5x a week and I just have been so lazy with my workouts.  Unfortunately...for some damn reason, I have also been struggling with my food.  Yes, I do eat very well during the week due to my amazing meal prepping.  However, on the weekends...sometimes shit gets a little crazy.  If I go home to stay with my parents in Delaware for the weekend I indulge a little too much.  You see, my apartment in NJ is fillllled with only healthy eats.  So when I am in DE and there is a freezer filled with ice cream...yeahhhh def had ice cream for dinner one night this weekend.  Awful.  Ummm at least it was light ice cream? Haha...no...still a fail.

So basically my problem is that I need to be stronger mentally.  I need to have will power and tell myself no when I want to make poor decisions.  Yesterday I had somewhat of a mental break through.  Of course while I was at work I was thinking about my workout that night.  Yesterday was Tuesday so it was going to be my Body Works and Abs class. You know...the one with all the pushups, burpees, wall sits, box jumps and other forms of physical torture that I "love."    All day I was dreading going and trying to figure out a good excuse to just stay home.  I was kinda sad over some things yesterday so I played that up and all I wanted to do was go home after work, lay on the couch, watch tv and eat ice cream. WHAT THE!?!  So all day at work that is what I planned on doing.  Then about 45 minutes before my work day was over, it hit me.  WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING?! Why was I thinking like this?  Where are these thoughts coming from?  This is NOT who I am anymore.  This is NOT what I want anymore.  It was the OLD ME trying to come back into my life.  It scared the crap out of me.  I can not go back into old habits.  No way.  NO WAY!  At that very instant I was determined to go to the gym that night and have a killer workout.  I will NOT let the old me back into my life.  She is gone and is never coming back.

Tuesday Workout

My Instagram Caption from my workout post
:)

So what did I do?  I went to the gym and killed my workout.  I walked out of there HAPPY and PROUD of myself for winning this battle.  Will there be another one? ABSOLUTELY!  But in the end...what's important is that you keep fighting.  I refuse to lose a battle against my old self.  I refuse.