There are certain people (read: person) in my life that love to bring me down. If I am happy or feeling confident they can't stand it. They are always in competition with me and always want to be better than me.
That is not my definition of friendship. No way.
There is a specific girl who almost daily critiques the way I look. Sometimes (rarely) she will say something positive but almost always it is something to tear me down. Every.damn.day. I can't stand it. The problem is that I work with her. She is in no way a friend of mine...more like a work friend I guess. She is a bigger girl too and she can't stand it if I weigh less than her or look better than her. She is in constant competition with me and I HATE IT!! It makes me so mad. Who competes with their friends?! She should be encouraging me not bringing me down. And hell yeah I am at fault too because I act like that towards her because she does it to me. But I would NEVER say anything to bring her down. Never ever. Mostly I just compete with her in my head. Like I will workout harder one day or eat healthy so I can accomplish my goals faster than her. But I would NEVER say anything to discourage her. And that is where we are different.
So here is why I am so mad/sad. This week the weather has be beautiful and I have worn dresses the past three days. I love dressing up! I post my outfits on Instagram and love to talk about fashion. Unfortunately....every outfit I wore this week...there was a nasty comment made about it. Why not just say anything?! Why do you have to make a negative remark? When I feel like I look cute my mood is amazing and I'm happy. Why do you feel like you have to ruin that for me? What I wear does not affect your daily life so why comment? Keep it to yourself.
Here are the three outfits I wore this week with comments:
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| "You should have worn a belt with that" |
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| "Cute dress, what's going on with your oily face" |
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| "Woah why are your boobs hanging out and why is your dress so short?" |
If you don't have anything nice to say KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! And I KNOW this is not the first blog post where I mention this girl. And I will not tolerate it. I will not let her bring me down. I will not be her door mat that she can be mean to in order to make herself feel better. I will NOT!
There needs to be more kindness in this world. People need to be encouraging to each other and not rip each other apart. Even though they are "just words" sometimes it still hurts.
Ok I'm done venting now. Time to put a SMILE back on my face. :)
Holy cow… what a miserable person. I mean that. Most of the time negative comments really do come from a place of our own insecurity or jealousy and I have little doubt she is jealous and insecure. All those comments completely illustrate that point. Let me say that I am IN LOVE with your outfits. Super ridiculously cute. I love fashion too :) I adore the second dress… where did you get it??? I love stripes. Super cute. Oh and the navy number is a knock out too… You look adorable, super cute. I see nothing negative to be said about your outfits so please just try and ignore her and know that every comment is really a reflection of how she feels about herself. It’s unfortunate that she has to say things at all but I suspect the more jealous she gets, the more weight you lose, the ruder the comments are going to become. Some people are just miserable!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust post your pictures here and I’ll tell you how awesome you look!!!! Ha… I completely get it though. Despite knowing it comes from her own insecurity it really is not necessary and it hurts. We can’t help that it sucks to hear shit especially when you are feeling awesome. I know how a cute outfit can change your mood and make you happy for the whole day!!!! You have awesome fashion sense of course which is also part of why I love you so much, you are a girl after my own heart. You are going to be in so much trouble as you lose weight and shopping gets more and more fun. I know its SOOO dangerous for me these days…. But it’s totally worth it!
Smile, it’s Friday and you look GOREGOUS and you deserve to own that smile on your face. You are perfect just as you are!
You ALWAYS say the nicest things! Thank you so much for everything <3 You always make me feel better. I've never met you, but I ADORE you!!! xoxo
DeleteAll three of the dresses are from Old Navy! I love that they have cute affordable dresses! I am obsessed with always buying new ones from there! :) Once I get into like a 14...I am going to be SO broke!! I will be shopping in so many stores!!! I CAN'T WAIT! (but I really will be broke) :)
She may be jealous OR she may admire you so much but doesn't want you to know so instead of saying positive things, she tries to put you down. If you don't want to approach her about it, ignore her rude comments. You know who you are, you know what you look like and you know how you feel when you dress this way. So kick her comments to the curb and flip her the bird...mentally. I personally think that each outfit was super cute and you look amazeballs in them! Don't change for anyone & don't stoop to her level. She's not worth it. <3
ReplyDeletexo
I am soooo going to ignore her! Thank you for your kind words!! :) I promise I won't ever change for anyone! Esp some girl who is just jelly!! xoxo
DeleteScrew her. ((to put it in the nicest way possible.) I absolutely LOVE these dresses and you look great. My favorite is the middle one! Where did you get it?
ReplyDeleteYes!!! Screw her! I am so mad I let her ruin a part of my day! I hope it never happens again! I got the dress at Old Navy...but online! Love it! Such a good fit and super cute! :) xoxo
DeleteI hope you can find some strength to stand up for yourself. Tell her what her comments do to you, how unappreciated they are. Be honest, be blunt, be brave. And please, please remember that anyone who tears you down like that is coming from a place of their own insecurities, fears, etc. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. YOU are beautiful!
ReplyDelete<3 thank you so much! You are right. I should stand up for myself. I am going to avoid/ignore her for a while but if she makes another comment and puts me down...I'm going to say something :) xoxo
DeleteI love your outfits, they are adorable! Don't let her get inside your head. My daughter has a "friend" that does the same things to her, makes horrid comments all the time. It's frustrating, nauseating, uncalled for. I told her to smile as big as she can and bat her eyelashes at her and just say thank you. (really dramatically and exaggerated) She's done it about 4 times, and the girl finally quit because she got no rise out of her. I think some people need to bring others down because they are feeling so horrible about themselves.
ReplyDeleteI should learn from your daughter! It looks like she got it right! I am going to kill this girl with kindness. I will never stoop to her level...I'm too nice for that! :) Thank you!!! xoxoxoxo
DeleteI love all three of those dresses and would wear them myself. You look very put together in all of them :)
ReplyDeleteawww thank you Bailey!! <3
DeleteI believe she is just jealous of all you have accomplished and is trying to bring you down. You are a beautiful woman and those dresses looked amazing on you.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought about approaching her about this? Maybe it's time you tell her how it makes her feel.
You are doing an amazing job and an inspiration to a lot of women out there.
Thank you Angela! I hate people that are jealous of others. Why be jealous?! Why not just work hard and make things happen yourself?! UGH!!! Thank you for your kind words!!! xoxoxoxoxo <3
DeleteYou look so cute in all three dresses, and I always love when you post your cute outfits because they are so well put together. Don't let her misery with herself get you down- you rock and there are so many that love you for the way you are- including your adorable fashion sense!
ReplyDeleteI agree with an above poster- speak up and let her know when what she said wasn't cool. Sometimes doing it jokingly at first can help ease into it....but the next time she says something like that, I would just pull her aside immediately and let her know you don't appreciate her talking to you in that way- just like how you said it about people needing to keep their nasty thoughts to themselves. Hugggs! I'm proud of you for writing it out and moving on, that's tough!
Thank you Colleen! <3 I am going to ignore her but then say something if she does it again. I refuse to let her ruin another one of my good days!! :) <3
DeleteI weigh almost the same as you and dont look half as amazing as you do. there will always be people who arent happy till everyone around them are unhappy. sadly the only thing you can do is ignore them
ReplyDeleteI am sure you're beautiful! :) It is sad that misery loves company...but I refuse to be apart of that!! :) xoxo
DeleteThis girl is not your friend. She's a coworker. She's an acquaintance (I have no idea how to spell that!), but she is NOT your friend. People bring down others because it makes them feel better about themselves and her comments say so much more about her than they do about you. ((hugs)) Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteYou are SO right. She is NOT my friend! I do not have friends in my life who treat me like that! I have AMAZING friends! Thank you Susie! You're amazing! xoxoxoxox <3
DeleteYou look amaze! Love all your dresses. Do not let her dull your sparkle, you're too beautiful. As Coco said "I don't care what you think about me. I don't think about you at all".
ReplyDelete